You could meet a girl in a bar but then you would have to buy her drinks and she would probably end up cheating on you.
You could meet a girl at a club but then you would have to buy her drinks, watch her dance with some other guy, and then cheat on you.
You could meet a girl at the pool, but she would stop loving you once the weather got cold and your tan faded...And then cheat on you.
Or you could go to Barnes and Noble
Broken down by aisle/genre
Poetry-She's deep. She likes making out in the rain/on a beach. Her view of love is romanticized, once the initial stars fade and shit starts to hit the fan she won't know what to do.
Self-Help/Addiction Recovery-She has issues and that's always exciting. She'll make you feel like your a little less fucked up. Talk to her and try to help her but keep away from sharp objects.
Gender Studies-She changed her name to Steve. You can try talking to her but it probably won't go far.
Automotive/Mechanics-*See gender studies
Sci-fi/Anime-A little nerdy maybe but still a cool chick. Think sex and xbox. You can't go wrong here.
Theology-Risky. Test the waters by bringing up evolution or gay marriage. Score points by telling her how much you enjoyed Pat Robertson's special on Fox News last night. Ok, if your willing to lie from the onset.
Teen Novels/Includes Harry Potter & the Twilight series-Don't believe her. She doesn't read Harry Potter because it may or may not have deep religious/philosophical symbolism. She just likes magic. Just go to a bar.
Erotica-Say hello and pretend you know what your talking about.
The Classics-Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Shakespeare.Try to make this girl love you, or at least make you the hero in the novel that she will inevitably write.
*Note-All this girls will eventually cheat on you, but at least you might learn something first.
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This is too funny. I wonder what the chick at the magazine rack is like...or even worse, greeting card aisle! Keep up the creative writing--you have a knack for it.
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